Dear Tadashi
by snowflake1814
Summary: He still writes letters almost daily to his brother because, in a way, it helps him feel like he's still there. Even with his graduation coming up, he still makes time for it because his brother always made time for him and he'll do the same. Oneshot.


**Things you may need to know-**

_The first part starts early December 3 years after the fire and goes through mid-May._

_The last line of the first part and the whole second part is the last week in May._

_All is in chronological order._

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

Christmas is in two weeks. I haven't gotten anything for Aunt Cass yet, but I have some ideas.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

I didn't know what to get you, so I settled for cleaning your part of the room and keeping Mochi from using your grey blazer in the closet as a scratching post.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

I got tickets to a concert for the band I've wanted to see since I was 13! It was from Aunt Cass, but it also kind of from Wasabi, Gogo, Honey, and Fred, because they helped chip in and they're coming with me. I wish you could come with.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

There was a huge blizzard that lasted the last day and a half. I don't think we're getting out of the house for a bit. I'll update you as it goes.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

Mochi climbed to the top of the tree and got stuck in the tinsel and garland. It took me and Cass a half-hour to get him untangled and now he goes past it warily every time. I have pictures stapled to the letter.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

I finally finished shoveling the sidewalk around the house/café. You would have loved it, perfect weather to go snowboarding*. Too bad most places are still shut down due to the blizzard that caused it. It doesn't matter; you would have found a way. You were just as stubborn as I was. That's probably where I got it from.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

Happy New Years. Remember when we were young and even though Aunt Cass told us to go to bed, we would always stay up anyways and make a pillow fort and watch the clock turn 12? I do. I remember our competition that we came up with when I was 12, seeing if we could think of a simple invention and make it between Christmas Eve and New Years. You won the first year but I won the next time. Maybe you would have won when I was 14. Maybe I would have. I didn't try and haven't since.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

I miss you.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

The concert was amazing, but I just got home and I'm exhausted. I'll write another letter about it in the morning. For right now, I need to change and hope I some hearing left.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

Remember when mom and dad were alive and occasionally they took us into the countryside with a telescope and a picnic basket and we would spend the night looking at and learning the different stars? I do. I also remember a few months before the showcase how it was one in the morning and I was on the roof staring at the stars because I couldn't sleep. You came out and joined me when you woke up and realized I wasn't in the room, and I told you that I wished we could see the stars in the city like you do in the country. You didn't know I remembered that and at that point we were both awake and you decided to drive us out of the city on your moped to a state park and we spent the rest of the night remembering the names of different stars and came home before Cass woke up. That was a great night.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

There was a fire in the kitchen when Aunt Cass accidentally knocked over a candle. Everything's okay except that we lost the whole tablecloth and most of the window drape and I'm trying to breathe because it's hard and I can't and I keep having flashbacks and I'm crying too hard to see straight.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

I'm learning to drive your moped. This may take a while.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

I'm almost done with that new update for Baymax I told you about last time I visited. I figured out the snag that kept shutting him down and keeping his left arm from functioning properly. I'm going to try it out tomorrow. It should work this time.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

It didn't work. He turned on and the left arm was able to move, but now the section that he keeps the lollipops got stuck and the scanner glitched. I've got a lot of other projects for school to be working on; I'll have to put this on the back-burner for now.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

I'm trying again. If you can make him in 84 tries I can update him in 25-some.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

I figured out the problem. I'm working on the coding again and I'll try it when I get finished.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

It worked! Meet Baymax 3.8!

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

I kept thinking about you today. I sat through my first class but then I went home and worked a shift for Cass at the Café instead of staying for the last two. She understood.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

I almost ran into a streetlamp with the moped. I wore a helmet like you would have lectured me to, which was probably a really smart move, even though I'm alright. However, there are some scrapes on the side. Sorry about that.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

I think my finals went well. There was only one that I didn't know all of the answers to, so we'll see how it goes.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

Happy birthday. You would've been 23 today. You would've graduated college by now and been changing the world. But you had to run into a building that exploded, so that didn't happen now did it?

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

Sorry. I didn't mean that.

* * *

Dear Tadashi,

I'm graduating in a couple weeks. If I wasn't so busy at the moment I'd write more, but I am, so I'll just meet you later. I'll bring a donut made with Aunt Cass's new recipe.

**…**

Hiro walks along the path of the cemetery, holding a donut in one hand and a letter in the other.

There's not anyone as far as he can see, which he relaxes at. He always felt more comfortable and stayed longer when there are less people and he can talk to his brother as freely as he wishes.

Turning at an all-too familiar row, he briefly glances at the first two tombstones marked as "Hamada", before stopping at the one he's most familiar with. He settles himself in the grass, lying comfortably on his stomach. He'll stay awhile today.

"Hey bro. Brought you a donut and a note." Hiro curls up the envelope and leans over to stick it in the flower vase set next to the stone, and breaks the donut in half- talking and keeping his eyes fixed on the pastry while he does so. "Haven't been here in a few weeks, sorry about that, I've been busy."

He swallows and looks up at the grave; making eye contact like Tadashi was here and was having a serious conversation. "You know how people always say it gets easier over time? They're right, you know, and it feels like it should be wrong even through it's probably a good thing. That doesn't mean I'll stop missing you. I'll never stop missing you, aniki, and it'll never be the same, but it does make life easier." A feeling that could also be described as guilt for the admission almost makes Hiro divert his eyes as he places one half of the donut down in front of the stone. For a second, it feels like they were in their bedroom when Tadashi scolded Hiro for stealing one of Aunt Cass's donuts that were supposed to be sold at the café, stopping when Hiro pulled out a second one he had grabbed for Tadashi and then things went on as if nothing had happened. But the fact that the stone doesn't talk back and the donut simply sits there in the grass as Hiro chews his own makes him swallow thickly.

"I'm graduating in a couple weeks*, it says so in the note. I could go on and on with sappy stuff, like how it's you that got me into the tech and you didn't give up on me and I wish you were here, but you already know all that and I don't want it to go to your head. Anyways, there's plenty of time for that later."

He stretches his arms, before pulling them closer and resting his head on top, his spiky mop of hair drifting over his eyes in the process. "Mind if I stay for a while? I don't have anywhere to go later and I feel like relaxing."

The teen lays in the grass, letting the early summer wind blow across his hair and the noon sun warm his back.

He smiles to himself.

It would never be the same, but for one of the first times, he feels that could be alright.

* * *

**1st * My sister got the BH6 art book for Christmas, and on a page it was comparing Hiro's and Tadashi's halves of the room and the very first thing I noticed when looking at Tadashi's was that there's a snowboard in the upper-left hand corner. I felt like including it here.**

**2nd * Headcanon that Hiro graduates at 17.**

* * *

**AN:**** So apparently my New Year's resolution was to break hearts. Hah. Whoops. I did try to make it okay-ish at the end, but I don't think it helped much.**

**If you can't tell from the fic, I really like the idea of Hiro writing letters to Tadashi on almost a daily basis after he died, and it hasn't worn off by the time this fic takes place. I don't like the last part of this really at all, I really only wrote this fic for the first part anyways, but it didn't seem right to just leave it there. Also, I don't know what it is about this fandom, but I've written three fics for it since joining less than a month ago. I've been in fandoms for months (HTTYD is my example here) and have only written two fics and posted neither. I don't know what it is about this fandom, but I love writing for it.**

**This is most likely the longest fic I've ever written, consequently taking me 4 hours to write it, and leaving me with no motivation to do much grammar checking other than reading it over once and using spell check, so I apologize for any mistakes.**

**Like always, I'll take constructive criticism and reviews. Thanks for reading and happy 2015!**


End file.
